While I didn’t always make the best choices in relationships, I think that I’ve always had a pretty good record of breaking up with guys when I couldn’t put up with their crap anymore. My prowess when it comes to breakups has lead me to start a little #SayNoToCosmo series I’d like to call “Deal or Dump”. A couple of questions have already started rolling in, so let’s get to the dealing/dumping!
With a guy who doesn’t give any date ideas. I’m the only one who picks
the fun adventures. Even though I like picking things out and I know
where all the good spots are, what should I do? Deal or dump?
This is actually a pretty common complaint I’ve heard from a lot of my friends and I’ve dated a couple of guys that are pretty lazy in the planning department!
I’m a big fan of being open and communicating as soon as you have an issue with something. Sit your guy down and tell him exactly how you feel. Explain to him that you do like picking dates out, but it would be nice if he shared in the planning from time to time.
You might already know this, but guys don’t really like it when they feel like we are telling them that they are doing something wrong. Instead, make the conversation into something along the lines of - “I’m afraid that we are only doing things that I want to do and not enough of things that YOU want to do.” Encourage him to show you things that he enjoys doing as well. This way you are making it more about his shared happiness rather than nagging him to make you happy!
Don’t expect instant results! If he hasn’t planned any dates up until this point, encourage him to maybe plan 1 outing every 2 weeks. Hopefully, he will enjoy getting to do more things that he likes and he will offer to do it more often.
If this doesn’t happen, you need to decide if this is a deal-breaker. Nagging him won’t encourage him to spend more time with you - if anything it will only push him away more and shy away from wanting to do activities with you! Try to keep a good perspective - at least he isn’t cheating or something horrible like that! If this is the main source of all your problems, I think y’all can easily overcome this! :)
So what do y’all think? Did I make the right decision to deal with it? Have y’all encountered lazy planners in y’all’s past?
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