In Defense of the Broken Ones…
Very few people know what it’s like to go on national television and air out your love life but I can assure you that it’s not very fun at the end of the day. Sure, we sign up for it and we know it goes along with the territory but having other people pass judgment on your mistakes in life and love is never an easy pill to swallow.
I’ve always believed that you should go on these shows and be yourself, tell the truth, and go after your heart - but that sometimes seems a little impossible on Bachelor Pad.
I’ll admit that I was shaking my head at Jamie this week and pulling the covers over my head quite a few times, but mostly I could identify with some of her actions and choices. Seriously ladies (and men), did y’all ever mess up in ANY relationship? You never picked the wrong person? You never put up with something that you shouldn’t have?
I think that I can personally relate to Jamie because we both had our share of family/life upheaval. This isn’t an excuse and I know y’all are reading this and thinking “so have a lot of people” but just hear me out for a second.
When I was in high school, I was basically forced to move out of my parents home and live on my own. The reasons aren’t important but just know that I had two jobs, was busting my butt to get a scholarship to UNC, and I was practically not speaking to my family. I moved into the basement of my boyfriend’s grandmother’s house and I have NEVER felt more alone.
It was around this time that I stopped respecting myself and started looking for someone to SAVE me. Maybe I’ve read too many books or I’ve seen to many movies, but I really thought that the answer to all of my problems was finding a guy that would want to take care of me and rescue me from all of the turmoil. During the next couple of years, I put up with physcial abuse, emotional abuse, and I refused to get out of bad relationships.
I had it in my head that I could change someone. Even if they cheated, even if they hit me, even if they wanted to break up with me - I could change their mind. I could always be a better girlfriend and make them love me.
I passed up a lot of good guys during this time. Guys who would have accepted me as I was, guys who actually did want to trouble themselves with a hot mess like myself, but I usually went after the unattainable guys. Relationships were the one part of my life where I felt I needed, and could have control. Because of this, I wanted to be able to make the playboy fall in love with me and give up his ways. I wanted to give the abuser the chance to stop hitting and say that I’m the person that made him change. Did this ever happen? I don’t really think I need to tell y’all the answer to that. Y’all saw me bawling in the back of the limo as I left the Bachelor - I was an emotional trainwreck at the end of all that. I had been through pretty horrible relationships for the past 7 years.
So here’s what I’m really trying to say: I see a lot of myself in Jamie and I know that I’m not alone. She made some mistakes but I’m sure she watched the show and was embarrassed - let’s let her try to change her ways without calling her pathetic, crazy, or unstable. She’s a young, beautiful girl that hasn’t had the easiest life and us hating on her isn’t making it any better.
Do y’all have any relationship stories that you’d like to share? Have you ever put up with less than you deserved? Do you have any advice for Jamie or girls like her?
- gamechanges likes this
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- spencer-elizabeth said: You’re amazing for willing to share all of this online! Unfortunately I think all of us have been there…thinking we could change someone, being blind sided by love.
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- lotusgalramblings said: read my blog lotusgalramblings on tumblr, I just got out of an abusive marriage, it was pretty subtle abuse, but it was….I always felt bad about myself/
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- babyjasliz said: Thanks for sharing…
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